Whether or not you're comfortable with talking about you just yet, here's the place to talk about the un-you. Are you a tortured genus who actually has solved the world's mysteries but are keeping these secrets to yourself? Did you sign up here to take a break from your career as an A-List Hollywood movie star? Do you own a seriously impressive stockpile of tinfoil? Are you a pure-blood descendent of the Anunnaki from the planet Nibiru? A Reptoid? An eagle with exceptional dexterity? We want to know! Here's the place to tell us.
Cast aside from its rightful position in the celestial bodies, a single luminious star fell one day to earth! Though the impact obliterated a barn full of cows, no sentient life was slain in its descent. Waking up with no memory from before the crashing meteoric descent, a young, confused being comprised of pure light knew its only purposes in life were to protect the innocent and solve puzzles!
This... is absolutely NOTHING true about Zobot257!
Aye you filthy muggles this here be rileedawg the fi'thiest lycanthrope to ever sail acress the backyard pool and I'm here to tell ye land lovers what led my scent here to this here site now you see good lads imagine this *thought bubbles drift into the air and take you into a time long long ago*it all began in the time of the dinosaurs well to be more specific near the end of the cretaceous period- you may see where this is going- at this point our dear heroine had not developed a sense of composed thought and so I was just thinking in actions and instincts*side note actually it's a pretty cool experiment to try and think without using words like if you want to do something just think of that action and picture yourself doing it or something and try to completely eliminate words from your head really interesting how much we think with words and stuff developed by ourselves anyway back to my tale,* one day I was scavenging for food^+ up on the highest mountain *edit-wait damn its the cretaceous period theres probably not very tall mountains* deepest cave of the land and my eyes could hardly see in the near darkness but through evolution I had developed extremely curated nocturnal vision and so could just make out a large etching on the wall I crane my eyes closer and I make out a large drawing which shows a vertical line at a 90 degree angle with a line going off the the right - I had no language at the time but it looked something like "L" - and as soon as I read it my head was struck by an immense pain and I crumbled to the ground and bright light flashed before my eyes and before I knew it I was an immortal and I tried to run out of the cave on all four legs but before I can leave light flashes again and suddenly I'm in a completely new world *fade out and into an ice landscape* when I woke up it was cold and I was scared and spent years looking for others that I knew like me but unfortunately for me as I later learn the light had flashed me out of my time period seconds before an asteroid killed all of my friends and family rendering me my own species-but after years of searching I was able to find new friends and creatures which I lived with and learned from *flash forward a few years* it was the ice age, the times were cold, the wild mammoths were furry, and your good friend rileedawg at this point in time had developed a way of speaking from the natives which involved drawing out the o every time it appeared in speech for example it sounded something like "helloooooooooo there gooooooooood sir hooooooooow was yoooooooooour day" and this was the beginning of my dog howl developing but for the sake of everyone else here you'll just have to imagine it in this part of the story I shall spare you the torture of reading through that yw *you owe me cherie* one day I was hunting with my good friend Niko the saber tooth tiger when I slip on the ice and fall into a giant crevice in the ground- I scrape in my nails and slide down making an awful noise when all of a sudden glowing in the increasing darkness is a bright red "E"-and with a similar style to my leave of the cretaceous I find my time in the ice age is over *fade out and into a roman colosseum* *Locutus sum Latin* my new home was found among my roman brothers as I was worshiped as a god and the hero of the colosseum the great wolf creature when one day a man more giant than I had ever seen challenged me and I feared I had met my match- never fear just as he was about to slay me I rear up onto my hind legs *and from this moment on forever walk on them* and at this height am eye to eye with his chest when I see right above his heart a tattoo that flashes me out of the colosseum- a great large red "V" *fade in and out into a cloud city* this peasants was a much treasured time in the life of the great rileedawg as she was finally allowed to live in olympus and be the god she always knew she was- I sat before my father eus and was honored to be his favorite daughter and be blessed with the powers of every god *because I'm not greedy at all*- but at the pinnacle of my happiness and rule I am forced to make a trip to earth as I see a great bonfire has been built to call for me- when I fly down to earth I see a large sacrifice being set up for the god Rileedawg to which I am honored but demand that they stop the needless ending of life- the people are angered that I do not appreciate their sacrifice and begin throwing themselves on the fire to put it out and I screech and try to stop them but it is not long before only tendrils of smoke fill the air and curve up into a gigantic letter seen across the land "E"- which of course sends me into a fit and I am flashed out of olympus leaving behind my sexy god lover and all of my riches *fade in and out onto a ship in a storm* and this 'ere is where I pick'd up me golden accent as I soon found me new place in the world was on a ship plunderin' fe riches and tryin to gain back some of de stutus that be lost when I was thrown from my place as a god- sailin' along me favrit sea one day and I look down and my here map and can't believe me eyes when I see I'm ve'y ve'y close to a red x on me map- and lo and behold I look up and spot land by jolly I actually found my way to trasure and I jump on de sand and dig as fast as me claws allow and what do I found in this ere trunk but a single piece of paper with but one letter on it a blimy "L" *fade in and out to a modern day high school* I get made fun of a lot in school on account of the pirate accent and the hair covering my body and the howling and eating raw meat but one day I discover a brilliant thing called the internet and I go onto a computer and turn it on but all I see is a huge red error and a "click here" button and then magically across my screen flashes a red "S" and my head fills with the all too familiar pain but am surprised to see that I don't flash out of existence this time and as I struggle with the pain I recall all of the other letters that led to this pain throughout my many lives and with a struggle through the intense pain I type into a search bar *the letter has disappeared and the computer is working now* all of the letters and lo and behold I get the message "You must now tell the story of how you discovered the .your-host.xyz bit"- jk after intense searching I stumbled across this here site and knew that this is what all of my lives had been leading up to and I have finally found what I was destined to do- tell shitty stories on the internet.
+if you're wondering what I was doing looking for food in a really deep cave you have no idea at the fantastic creatures that existed in caves during this time for example the Moobiurasaurus which was the only anaerobic reptile to ever exist would climb so far down into a system of caves that they would -I couldn't think of an amusing end to that sentence and I just made that up I don't know what I was doing down there damn you plotholes
Last Edit: Mar 11, 2017 19:21:07 GMT -5 by rileedawg
Did you also know rilee has a cat with an IQ higher than Einstien that sometimes will go on her keyboard while she is in the bathroom and proceeds to type unimaginable things such as what (Presumably the cat) has typed above?
I would like to preface this with saying that I'm not sure WHY I am in a cage, beyond that it seems to be LEVELS-related. I don't remember being captured and put in the cage. Most other people aren't in cages. (Although based on the previous post they may want to put Rileigh in one).
Anyway, about my cage:
- It's about 3 meters by 5 meters (LEVELS requires the use of the metric system for cage measurements) - The floor is some specialty kind of concrete that manages to be even harder and colder than regular concrete - There is are two different mini-doors, one for food and one for ciphers - If someone pokes a stick in between the bars and you can grab it, you get to keep it (bonus stick!) - Blankets are not provided - The heat to the storage room gets shut off at 6 pm every night
If I'm good I DO get a pillow, but it gets revoked if they catch me trying to escape.
One nice thing is that if I come up with a good baking proposal, I get to be out of the cage for two hours to use the LEVELS kitchen and make it! (To anyone else in the LEVELS kitchen: do not attempt to use the mixer. Any white liquids in the refrigerator not specifically labelled 'milk' are not to be used as milk. Do not get cute with your puzzles and try to reveal the location of your cage; they will notice. Do not mix up the baking soda and the baking powder.)
I played an important role in the creation of a secret society of writers, detectives and the like, dedicated to the World's most difficult mysteries to do with the occult, mass destructive or conspiring. Mostnoatbley, our members include none other than Sherlock Holmes, and a few other people who's identities will have to remain hush hush for now...
i am the H0L0M4N and in many ways i see you like a diviner does with his quarry flayed on the grantie. i was burned by the sun and it hurt so much and there's so much left to learn. relearning to see again after an incident.